Boston Enigma Continued: First Period Game Thread

A great man once said:

Boston enigma
Win, win

Jagr Bs gif

I am on board with this sentiment.

On to the Jagr Day festivities!

The Bruins are going to visit old Uncle Jaromir tonight. It wouldn’t be right to enter his home without bringing the proper offerings. I’ve compiled a list of suggestions.

1. Peanut butter. It’s well documented that it brings the Jagr great joy.
Jagr Butter

2. Bitches. Bitches love the Jagr, and the Jagr loves the bitches.
farmer Jagr

See? He feels so comfortable in their presence.
jagr puppy

3. The bitches line inevitably led somewhere else. Draw your own conclusions.
Jagr cat

4. It seems logical that the Davids should call Kladno and ask his favorite parent, Mamamir Jagr to come so the great Jaromir is happy and has mercy on their souls.
Mama Jagr bench
Jagr Mama Cup
Jagr Mama HHOF

5. Most importantly, they should bring more Jagr, you know, because you can never have enough. Just in case.
Jagr too old
Jagr favorite

JagrBlingee
Jagr massage

Anyway, on to the actual game preview. Sigh.

Things have been going well since the start of the Liles and Stempniak era (2-0-1).

The Bruins are currently third in the Adams Atlantic Division, one point behind the Panthers. Jaromir Jagr is tied for third in all-time scoring with 1850 points. He is tied with Gordie Howe. You heard right: Jaromir Jagr has tied Gordie Howe for third in scoring. I’d love a shutout, but I’d REALLY love to see him score and take second place. Please win 6-1, Bruins.

LAST TEN GAMES:
BRUINS:
6-3-1
PANTHERS:
4-4-2

SCORING LEADERS
BRUINS:
Points – Patrice Bergeron: 26-31-57
Goals – Brad Marchand: 33-18-51

PANTHERS:
Points – Jaromir Jagr: 21-27-48
Goals – Jaromir Jagr: 21-27-48, old friend Reilly Smith: 21-18-39

GOALTENDERS:
This is a ridiculously similar matchup, numerically speaking.
blub blub blub

Tuukka Rask:
26-18-6 / 4 shutouts / .919 SV%

Roberto Luongo:
27-16-4 / 4 shutouts / .924 SV%

Tuukka shades

INJURY NOTES:
For the Bruins, Kevan Miller (upper body) is day-to-day and didn’t travel with the team after a nasty hit from Alexander Ovechkin Saturday.

For the Panthers, Jonathan Huberdeau is back tonight after missing six games with an upper body injury.

Side note:
Chara didn’t skate this morning, but don’t let that scare you:


If you must know, his twin boys arrived yesterday. He probably had to go pick them up at the UPC office – those guys never wait for you to get to the damn door. That’s likely why.

LINES, LINES, EVERYWHERE ARE LINES…

BRUINS:

FANCYCATS:

Lines are likely looking like this, with Huberdeau slotting in somewhere:

Hudler-Barkov-JAGRRRRRRRRRR
Jokinen-Trocheck-Smith
Rau-Bjugstad-Purcell
Howden-Shaw-Thornton

Kulikov-Ekblad
Campbell-Gudbranson
Kampfer-Petrovic

Luongo

SOME TWEETS FROM SOME PEOPLE:
1. Unless we’ve moved to the three point system, this is incorrect. Oops. I forgot we were playing Tampa tomorrow. Forget this remark. Number two is still valid.
2. What is “The Lightening”? A film about Thomas Edison, perhaps?

Uh… just in case you were thinking of making a wager. B2B does not endorse such activity. I’m not sure how well any of you would do with your bookie’s …”associates”.

dirty look

yikes

This was funnier a few minutes ago because I thought it said, “I feel pretty”. Such disappoint. Much ugly. Wow.

Oh, Marshy…

Marshy pest

bitches be trippin

Last, a Jagr haiku:
Jagr enigma
Such mystery surrounds you
More zany goals, please

It’s almost hockey time:
1… 2… 3… LET’S HAVE FUN!
lets have fun

phonymahoney

About phonymahoney

Curmudgeon? Check. Awesome? Check. Jaromir Jagr? Czech.

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