Morning Free Association 3/28/16 – Everything is Awesome

The Boston Bruins are trying to get to the NHL playoffs. No problem, right?

After the season the Bruins have had, while we may doubt that they are strong Stanley Cup contenders, at least they’re sure to make it into the tournament, right? Sure! I just checked last week at a stats & simulation site who calculated that the Bruins had a 98% chance to make the playoffs. No problem, right?

Yep, everything is awesome!

Just to catch you folks up,

The Bruins had a heartbreaking loss Thursday night, and in their rear view mirror, the Flyers won and the Red Wings won.

That placed the Bruins at 3rd in the Atlantic division with 86 points in 75 games played.
The wild card teams NYI & Philly were now at 87Pts (72GP) and 85Pts (73GP) respectively
Behind them was Detroit at 85 points with 74 games played.

So if the Red Wings won their game in hand, and match the Bruins for the rest, the Bruins won’t even make the playoffs.

The Bruins’ odds of making the playoffs were 98% going into Wednesday’s Rangers game. They were still at 91.5% by lunchtime on Thursday. They woke up on Friday at 69.7%. And have had a 5 game losing streak.
(Playoff statistics from Sports Club Stats)

Yaaaaayyyyyy! Buy your playoff tickets now.

But wait! The Red Wings played Pittsburgh on Saturday, who clobbered them, 7-2! Then the Bruins played the Maple Leafs on Saturday night (which is apparently all right for a fight), and they started out slow, but then remembered a minor point — regular season games actualy count! They found their legs in the 2nd period, (let me repeat that: they found their game in the 2nd period) and came out of it with a 3-1 victory. Now they are 3 points up on that team who has a game in hand on them, and their playoff chances are back up to 86.3%. The Bruins’ magic number is 5.5 wins or Red Wings losses, and they get into the playoffs.

OK, guys, the party is back on!
Party!

Ok, perhaps we should reign in our enthusiasm just a little.
More Party

Better.

About IntentionallyWidenberg

Position: Power Forward. Occupation: I am the Egg Man. Contrary to popular belief, I am not the Walrus.
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carvinbass18
Editor
Satan81
Admin

CRUSHING HOCKEY PUCK WITH HYDRAULIC PRESS

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

Everything about this video is fantastic.

Satan81
Admin

WOOO!!!! Adler Mannheim is getting an outdoor game next season!

http://www.adler-mannheim.de/news.php

The Once and Future Bagel Bruin
Member

Yesterday’s recording of Bearly on Topic was a blast. hockey bear

the german hammer
Admin

It was a good time. We should think of creating an improv troupe that focuses only on hockey and the classics. What about Pride and Prejudice and Hockey Sticks? The Old Man and the Puck (that one’s about The Jagr).

phonymahoney
Editor

The Ice Girls Cometh

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

Bravo, phony, bravo.

the german hammer
Admin

A Tale of Two Sedins

phonymahoney
Editor

Wuthering Fights

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

Dying.

phonymahoney
Editor

The Call of the Minnesota Wild

phonymahoney
Editor

The Great Holtby

phonymahoney
Editor

The Center in the Dive

phonymahoney
Editor
Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Jimmy Howard’s End

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Claude, I, & Us.

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Damn, i meant for that to be I, Claude & Us. …meh.

the german hammer
Admin

I got it.

phonymahoney
Editor

Love.

phonymahoney
Editor

eastofsweden

the german hammer
Admin

Most excellent. I am too tired right now. We should make a thread or table based on all our excellent New Hockey Classics Repertoire some time.

phonymahoney
Editor

Apparently this is a thing I can do.

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

we sticking to Modern Novels or is The Life of Paille allowed?

Miss Muse
Editor

Life of Pi is a Modern Novel!

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Of Mice and D-Men

carvinbass18
Editor

Man it really was

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

No more worries- star Yale D Rob O'Gara is expected to sign with the Boston Bruins soon. No word on whether AHL-bound or details- stay tuned

— Kirk Luedeke (@kluedeke29) March 28, 2016

Satan81
Admin

Can he sing?

Satan81
Admin

Made a batch of doodle “uglies” yesterday:

View post on imgur.com

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

You know im gonna keep bothering you till you make a Whalers one right?

phonymahoney
Editor

BUM BUM BUM BUMBUMBUMBUMBUM BUM BUM BUM BUMBUMBUMBUM BUUUUUUM

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81
Satan81
Admin

Did them last week!

View post on imgur.com

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Surprised you didn’t go with Shannaban.

Satan81
Admin

Those are their uniforms from 1979-1980 when they joined the NHL. Their top scorers that season were Blaine Stoughton and Mike Rogers:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1979%E2%80%9380_Hartford_Whalers_season#Player_statistics

Satan81
Admin

And wow, Stoughton had four excellent seasons with the Whalers:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blaine_Stoughton#Career_statistics

Rogers had a few excellent seasons in the NHL, too:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Rogers_(ice_hockey)#Career_statistics

That whole late 70’s to early 80’s period is kinda like the land that hockey forgot. Some great players have been forgotten about due to the WHA-NHL overlap.

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Yeah…Most people don’t even Recognise Hull as a Whaler.

Satan81
Admin

Also lost in there are the European players from that period.. Not just the Eastern Bloc teams, but also the Scandinavians who took their time coming over here.

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Granted he played like…9 games…

Satan81
Admin

Y’know, there might be an article in there somewhere…

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

YAY!

Satan81
Admin
phonymahoney
Editor

And the mooterus.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

I love the Mooterus. It was a really, really cool idea, or would have been if they’d stopped to think about what else it looked like

carvinbass18
Editor

It was a great idea. Good color scheme too.

Satan81
Admin

The color scheme is cool, but it looks like the bull gored a chili pepper.

Satan81
Admin
phonymahoney
Editor

And this one.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Ylonen? Not Doan/Tkachuk/Numminen?

Satan81
Admin

Numminen got the Buffaslug. And…er…Ylonen seemed funnier somehow.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

I saw that after I posted. I’m shocked you didn’t give Miro the Buffaslug, being you and all.

Also I just pretty much only associate Numminen with the Yotes in my head, even though In know he played other places,

Satan81
Admin

When I do Miro, he’s gonna be a Bruin.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

This, I understand

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

Still a shame he was never a Devil. #MissedConnections

carvinbass18
Editor

sports.yahoo makes up for it w/ the “666” player number

Satan81
Admin

Best intern ever.

Satan81
Admin

None of the teams who had him ever did a “Hell Frozen Over” promotion, either. *smh*

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

agreed.

Satan81
Admin
phonymahoney
Editor

I love this jersey.

carvinbass18
Editor
DrHandgrenaid
Editor

This about the Yak asking for a trade news? Because of course Yak asked for a trade and power to him. The two coaches hes had there who worked for him (Ralph Kruger and Todd Nelson) were both shitcanned after less than a full season (the Kruger firing was stupid, as he had jsut lead Edmonton to their best season in recent memory, before and since, and was replaced by Dallas Eakins, who is only good at looking suspiciously like David Tennant)

Satan81
Admin

That Oilers team sure is wibbly-wobbly.

Satan81
Admin

I am confident that Chia can clean up the mess he inherited and gradually replace it with a new one.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

The problem Chia has is that hes coming in at the wrong time in the salary arcs of many of these players for his management style. They need to win before the end of McDavid’s ELC or hes going to have to nuke the roster just to pay him

carvinbass18
Editor

Yeah but based on that roster right now it might be wise for Chia to blow up that roster right now too.

Satan81
Admin

That team is a classic case of “Yes, draft best available, but you have to do things after that, too.”

carvinbass18
Editor

I think they need to start drafting team needs. Take the best player available, but that you need. If they don’t get #1 overall (because passing on Mathews is ridiculous) draft the best defenseman available.

phonymahoney
Editor

The thing is, they could have drafted best player available and traded for an actual need, or traded one of those 54 1st overall picks for a really good player to fill a role they’re lacking.

carvinbass18
Editor

Who’s seriously lacking a center that could spare losing a top 2 defenseman?

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

I think Nashville is still a candidate tbh. Sure they got RyJo, but their #2 and #3 centres are both 36, and Johansen isn’t much of a 2-way guy. RNH would be a GREAT pickup for them, but would cost them Weber or Josi (I say trade Weber before his stats decline starts to show up on the eye test and it becomes impossible- plus his perceived value could land RNH plus a 1st

Satan81
Admin

I’m trying to remember who it was, but I think it was Down Goes Brown that commented that Josi is really the Predley’s #1 d-man now.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Absolutely, and it isn’t really close at all. Plus, they have probably the best 2nd pairing in the league with Ellis-Ekholm

Satan81
Admin

Anaheim’s D is gonna be terrifying starting next year-ish. Philly’s D is finally starting to shape up, too.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Philly’s D prospect ranks are insane. Provorov, Sanheim, Morin…. goddamn

phonymahoney
Editor

And they have Medvedev (not a prospect, I realize)

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

hes like 33 and a UFA this summer. I’d not bother mentioning him tbh

phonymahoney
Editor

Lord knows they’ll want him back. I don’t think it’s crazy.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

If they win the lottery the NHL will take changing the rules seriously I just can’t see them not trading it for someone big. They are already really plugged up with top C- this is why an RNH trade, while stupid (hes a perfect complement to McDavid, Draisatl is the redundant one), is expected. Matthews just magnifies that particular insanity. They need to trade down, acquire a top D and draft the same, and stop this. They are the exception that proves the rule of BPA

Satan81
Admin

It’s like the Flyers from the past two decades in a microcosm.

Satan81
Admin

Or trade down to a position where the top d-man is. But yeah, I hear ya. Sure, drafting the best player available is almost always the right call but you have to factor in the potential cost of acquiring the player you need later. Add the usual caveat that it’s tougher with defenseman ’cause they take longer to develop.

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Yeah but part of that “Taking the best player rule” is if he is a redundant piece on your team you look to trade him for what your team needs….for some reason they would rather just ruin the players and let them go once they cant afford them.

Satan81
Admin

Totally agreed. Hindsight is 20-20, but wow they should have traded down from Yakupov.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Ryan Murray has been a bit of a bust too. The top of that draft was shit.

Satan81
Admin

Or at least one of the Hall/Yakupov/RNH picks.

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

You mean drafting “Hockey Jesus” won’t automatically redeem the team?

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Its why I don’t really think the Bruins can realistically trade for a top Dman. Anyone of that description who is available can/will get us outbid by Chia when he throws either Eberle or RNH out as his bid

phonymahoney
Editor

I keep saying “we’re just one d-man away from being an actual good team,” – I don’t think we’ll manage to pick one up on the cheap, but I sure as hell hope one falls in our lap.
That said, I’m hoping Chiller / Carlo / O’Gara / Grizz / anybody turns out to be much more NHL ready than we thought.
Doubtful, but here’s hoping.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

I have some mid-level signings in mind that might serve as a decent short term patch

carvinbass18
Editor

How are you doing on that, speaking of it

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

In progress. Ought to have a draft today, seeing as the rain says I shall not be hiking today

carvinbass18
Editor

excellent. I’ll message you when I get out of work here shortly to bounce a few things off you

phonymahoney
Editor

I’m OK with this.

Satan81
Admin

Please sign Liles to a one-year deal.

phonymahoney
Editor

Sure. Cheap tho, pls

Satan81
Admin

People keep saying that but the Oilers still haven’t done it.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

RNH and Eberle have AAV’s of $6 million. Usually hard to trade that in-season, unless you are trading with Ottawa, who might think they’re playing Catan instead of managing an NHL team. Chia needs to move them towards some kind of success next season, so I bet one move at the draft this year

Satan81
Admin

Agreed. Another big factor is teams being unsurprisingly unwilling to trade away defense.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

This is very true. I bet they have a good trade in front of them with either the Isles (who still need to trade Hamonic) or the Jets (who have 3 top-4 [in their estimation, Tyler Myers isn’t really, but eh] RHD) So I think an Eberle for either Hamonic or Trouba would make sense for all parties. (or a 3-way trade that puts Hamonic in Winnipeg, which is the only ‘western Canadian team’ that actually makes a lick of sense for his reasons for asking for a trade)

carvinbass18
Editor

I hope so. A team cannot be that laughably bad for this long. The analogy of being a C+ student w/ a helicopter mom was perfect though. (hopefully my edit worked)

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

So theres a whole mess of Masterton nominee talk on the twitters this morning. I think the Bruins’ nominee ought to be Marchand. Played all last season with a bum elbow that limited his movement bigtime, quietly got it fixed over the summer, and came back this season firing on all cylinders and taking on a bigger leadership role with the team.

carvinbass18
Editor

Jonas Gustavsson is the Masterton nominee for the Boston chapter of the @ThePHWA.

— Amalie Benjamin (@AmalieBenjamin) March 28, 2016

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

This is the Masterton nomination version of the ::CarlShrug::

Satan81
Admin

The Habs should nominate Therrien.

phonymahoney
Editor

Correction:
The Bruins should nominate Therrien.

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

Can we give Therrien a duck boat parade?

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

If Bergevin doesn’t fire him, I suspect we need to send him an Edible Arrangement or something too.

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Sorry…you say Masterson and i went baseball with it and got confused for a min.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

you must have been thinking of Bat Masterton

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Masterton

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

S and T are alphabetical neighbors….that is my excuse and i stick with it.

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

One more week!

UNCMedievalist
Member
UNCMedievalist

Good morning, friends!

Another busy week on tap: More writing, the conference I’ve been planning for the last few months happens on Saturday, and it’s our prospective student weekend. Wheeeeeeee!

Saw Batman v Superman this weekend. I didn’t hate it, but it’s, well, really dumb in places.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Saw Batman v Superman this weekend. I didn’t hate it, but it’s, well, really dumb in places.

Superman is such a bland concept and non-complex god-man that it makes it very hard to not be dumb. When your hero is only weakened by a hilariously flimsy deus ex machina, you are doing it wrong

UNCMedievalist
Member
UNCMedievalist

Yeah. And Zach’s Synder’s Superman is even more boring. Well, he’s the living embodiment of Ayn Rand’s philosophy, and that’s just the worst.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Also, given that Snyder has said hes got a The Fountainhead project in the works (oh…. joy?) this Randian superman ethos is really, really spot on on for the Zack Snyder version of Ubermensch Superman

UNCMedievalist
Member
UNCMedievalist

Yeah. Supes and his dead father have a conversation on a mountain about halfway through the movie. It’s Randian masturbation.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

The thing is- the complex moral conundrum that would come with being an omnipotent god-man can be dealt with is a realistic and relatable way- Dr Manhattan is a great example of this.

Some buddies of mine and I discussed this over magic cards recently (NNNEEEERRRRRDDDDSSSS)- how is it, even as a purely good being, that Superman doesn’t eventually feel the need to control and rule mankind in the name of good, to set things right? Don’t go firing anything about him being perfect and well intentioned, because human nature directs people with the best intentions that way all the damn time. Hell- the Judeo Christian version of God does EXACTLY THIS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE DAMN OLD TESTAMENT.

/SuperRant

carvinbass18
Editor

null
hahaha

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Well, he was raised with human values so he will always have the inner conflict into his identity.

UNCMedievalist
Member
UNCMedievalist

But Zach Synder picks the wrong conflict! Rather than it being a push/pull between his human and Kryptonian nature, it’s a struggle over whether or not he should intervene in human affairs. It’s shitty.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Win Wenders shit right there.

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

I just think that if you are going to go the Frank Miller route of Batman you just go and do it….don’t try to sample from different shit to make something you think will compete with Avengers.

UNCMedievalist
Member
UNCMedievalist

Yes. I have to say, though, that I thought Affleck did a pretty good job. Way better than I expected.

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Good to hear, that was one of the things going in that i was sill unsure of.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Low bar and all that, but Affleck gets more abuse than he deserves.

Better director than actor though. (especially if hes not in his own films. Gone Baby Gone was the best of his directorial efforts)

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Kinda surprised he hasn’t done more writing since goodwill hunting & the town & Gone Baby Gone have all done well.

carvinbass18
Editor

I’m totally blind when it comes to comics so I might be way wrong here, but why are Batman & Superman fighting anyway? Aren’t they both in the Justice League?

UNCMedievalist
Member
UNCMedievalist

It’s also the dumbest movie title ever. The two fight for all of about 15 total minutes (and the movie is 151 minutes long).

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Problem is they should have just stuck with one plot device and done it well…and just brought the “pre-justice league” in separately in a different movie….yeah yeah i know they want to rush the JLA out ASAP but …comeon…do it right.

UNCMedievalist
Member
UNCMedievalist

Yes indeed. Honestly, I’d rather them have skipped this one and moved right on to the pre-Justice League movie. The nods to the other members are the best part of this movie! I want more Aquaman!

UNCMedievalist
Member
UNCMedievalist

They are both in the Justice League in the comics.

The movie was essentially the origin story for the Justice League. That movie is scheduled to come out next year.

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Holy crap, that’s funny! I nearly burst me white reading that.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Fucking autocorrect! Me shite! Nearly burst me shite. WTH?

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

This one’s my favorite. I’m #TeamBatman on this one:

SUPERMAN: “Just… okay… just massage the kale.”
BATMAN: [Kicks Superman in the face.]

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

I would kick Superman in the face after Batman kicks him in the face.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Its basically the film equivalent to /r/whowouldwin

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

1) Get a popular hero
2) Get another popular hero
3) ??????
4) Fight and PROFIT

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Its dumb anyway, because Superman can just be all “yeah, no” and fart Batman clear out of existence

phonymahoney
Editor

Superman can fly, but Batman can Kryptonite him to death. I don’t know.

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

Most people would disagree, Batman has far superior intellect and is trained in combat. Yes If Batman makes one mistake he is doomed but Batman V. Superman is not as one sided as it seems. Plus Superman is weak to Magic, i am sure with all his money Batman could find some relic to fight him with other than the obvious Kryptonite.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Superman has another weakness. One he shares with all the straight guys out there…….women. Maybe that’s what the fight is about. Either over a woman or Batman is going to out Supes.

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

All it takes is one perfectly placed (well…maybe just placed) plot device, though.

Lame.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Hey folks! Rain today and shitty weather tomorrow because fuck you HHG and fuck your vacation.

Goddammit. Coffee on tap. At least all those family members of mine had to go back to work and its no longer a 6 person clusterfuck here.

phonymahoney
Editor

Doh!
No bueno. Sorry, pal.

wpDiscuz