End of Days! Habs leapfrog Bruins & Wings into the Playoffs

Tampa Bay Lightning goaltender Ben Bishop is knocked into the net as P.K. Subban of the Montreal Canadiens scores a goal in a 5-4 victory at Amalie Arena on March 31, 2016.

EDIT: This article was written as an April fool’s day prank. Information found in this article should not be taken as factually accurate.

Last night, the Montreal Canadiens defeated the Tampa Bay Lightning, bringing them to 88 points on the season. With tiebreakers, (equal ROW, better point differential and head to head) that puts them ahead of the Bruins, and into the playoff structure as the 3rd seed in the Atlantic division. After the tight race between the Wings & the B’s grabbing everyone’s attention, the Habs’ resurgence snuck up on both teams.

With the Islanders at 93 points, and the Flyers at 89, that keeps those two teams buried as deep into the wildcard spots as ticks on a dog, pushing the Bruins and Red Wings completely out of any playoff spots.

This places the Bruins in a terrible position – they essentially have to win 5 games straight, as they now have to out-play the Habs as well as the Red Wings. Odds of them making the playoffs have now dropped to a depressing 36.4%

This led to a localized confrontation between fans and police in Kenmore Square in Boston, as local bars emptied out after last call.

It sounds like there were no serious injuries, but there was property damage to some parked vehicles, and more than a few people got to spend a night in the poky.

I just don’t know what to say. Get it together, Bruins!

Sock Puppet

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DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Boston are now officially, contractually the Gryzzley Bears:

BU senior D Matt Grzelcyk has signed a two-year entry-level contract with BOS. He was BOS 3rd round pick in 2012.

— Bob McKenzie (@TSNBobMcKenzie) April 1, 2016

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

Scrabble!

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Theres an AHLer, Harry Zolniercyk (give or take a few dozen letters) who uses his last names’ scrabble score as his number, which is pretty clever

Satan81
Admin

Nice!

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

That’s fucking awesome.

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

Why yes, I did just have to actually look up what the score would be.

Satan81
Admin

Woo hoo!

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Assuming hes either staying at school to finish his degree or going on an ATO, there is still some contract slots. (we missed out on Brandon Tanev to the Jerts, but Ahti Oksanen is still there….)

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Morning All!! Already played a round of disc this morning. New course, 25 mins from home. I liked it, but i picked up a few ticks there. Jo won’t like it.

Heading to Providence tomorrow. P Bruins, Phony, GH and G. I very excite!!!

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

Ticks already? Jeez. so pumped to be doing my field work this summer in a part of the province that has more ticks than it does air

Satan81
Admin
Muffinman3
Member
Muffinman3

Im also still hoping Keith gets suspended until the end of time. Yeaaah, I still hate that guy

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

He waived his in-person. Phone hearing is today. Still eligible for 6+ games.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

That slash was McSorley-esque, but on the other hand, hes a star playing for the darling team of the league, so….

Rallye
Member
Rallye

Oh, the huge manatee!

Satan81
Admin

?!?

Rallye
Member
Rallye

Non sequitur, enjoyed the April Fools post.

Satan81
Admin
carvinbass18
Editor

So i’m at the dr’s with Em (everything is good) & in walks the “white trash” version of my dad & step mom. Like full blown ’80s hair & meth teeth. rural NH is awesome some times also though, the dude looked like white lionel ritchie.

The Once and Future Bagel Bruin
Member

I could fit in well in rural NH.

Satan81
Admin

Oof. 2am puck drop for me tonight.

carvinbass18
Editor

Ouch. Nap time around 9pm?

Satan81
Admin

Might have to.

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

Annnnnnnd, that vacation thing I talked about yesterday is totally a timeshare scam.

ABORT:
comment image

Miss Muse
Editor

Ugh. Of course it is. I did one of those things ages ago when me and my bf went to Vegas. We were told “No pressure” and then the “Exit Interview” guy really laid on the pressure. It sucked. Sorry it wasn’t what you anticipated.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Yup, I did one…. one. It was a fun weekend – until the “presentation”. I was waiting for the torture devices to come out before it was over. When it was over – THEY WERE PISSED OFF!!!!!! I laughed, but really, what a bunch of jerks.

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

Meh.

The only thing I was upset about is that I didn’t trust my gut from the start. I knew something was fishy, but for some reason didn’t just tell her to pound sand from the start. At least we’ve wasted nothing except 5-10 minutes of time on the phone.

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

The Once and Future Bagel Bruin
Member

LOOKING FOR HOUSING WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU WILL BE WORKING IN TWO MONTHS IS FUCKING STRESSFUL AND IT IS ADDITIONALLY STRESSFUL WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND MOVES TO GOD KNOWS WHERE IN AUGUST.

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

No dice on that job opportunity even after 704 interviews?

No bueno, buddy. Hopefully it’ll all figure itself out.

The Once and Future Bagel Bruin
Member

The job in Greensboro was a no go, but they suggested I apply to a better paying in Raleigh. Greensboro is 40 minutes from my current residence and Raleigh is one hour and 45 minutes. The cool thing about the Raleigh job is that the office is one mile from where the Canes play. I’ve been parking for free in their lots for years.

I applied to two jobs in Winston Salem this week. I’ll spend two hours this weekend looking for other opportunities.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor

All of this checks out

wpDiscuz