Morning Free Association 4/22/16

Good morning, and happy Friday, kids!

The week is ending, everything is wonderful, and playoff hockey is glorious.

frrrr

We had four playoff games last night, and we finally have our first big loser (aside from the Bruins, of course) – the Red Wings were eliminated by Tampa Bay in game 5.

SCORES OF SCORES!
TB beat DET 1-0
PIT beat NYR 5-0
ANA beat NSH 4-1
CHI beat STL 4-3 (2 OT)

Sadly, last night could very well be the last time we see our friend, the Magic Man, Magician of Magicians, Wizard of Wizards, Pavel Datsyuk. It’s a huge loss for fans and the NHL, because he’s a spectacular talent, and seems like a really nice guy. Here’s some of his finer work:

hsajsja
ith
aehh
sdhg
yfuorfo
arehh
hrdj

I could go on and on.
Anyway, what’s on tap?

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phonymahoney

About phonymahoney

Curmudgeon? Check. Awesome? Check. Jaromir Jagr? Czech.
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Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

The weekend starts now!!!! Heading out to play some disc golf @ page park. C’mon Tallest81, come out and show us how it’s done.! We’re starting our round @ 530.

Thetallest81
Member
Thetallest81

I wish, I am stuck in PA for one more week and then Vacation to DE…

carvinbass18
Editor
carvinbass18

Only took me four hours to do a table alignment when the normal allotted time is an hour and a half.
Thanks customer return printer!
http://img.ifcdn.com/images/f93260679bfe572f775264be708e7a1f08764a4a11056200dd8ff5b1b5f658f3_1.gif

Satan81
Admin
Satan81
IntentionallyWidenberg
Admin
IntentionallyWidenberg

The German Hammer got quite a kick out of that last night

the german hammer
Admin
the german hammer

I did. It was true but NBCSNOMGWTFBBQ did not like the criticism coming from the Chicago CSN affiliate (also owned by NBC) and cut it short.

I don’t understand why they didn’t just throw it on USA at 8pm or something. Does anyone really care if a L&O: SVU marathon is interrupted?

BagelBruin
Member
BagelBruin

I had a bizarre dream last night.

My non profit HR team decided to open a school and we hired DrHandgrenaid. I was in charge of creating tests and entering their results. I made a mistake on a test and DrHandgrenaid got a croup of students to overthrow me.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor
DrHandgrenaid

I have been known to incite revolution, from time to time. A regular Jean Valjean I am.

BagelBruin
Member
BagelBruin

I have no clue what the dream means

carvinbass18
Editor
carvinbass18

Viva La Revolution!

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

I certainly wouldn’t want to piss of a geologist. You all have axes and hammers and shit.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor
DrHandgrenaid

I break rocks with a hammer by choice. This is stuff they made old-timey convicts do. Do you have any idea how fucking hardcore geologists are? Do you?!

phonymahoney
Guest
phonymahoney

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Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

Do you also ride an old-timey hand car? Because I really want this to be a thing you do.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor
DrHandgrenaid

Self Portrait:
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Also, Dawson City is one of my favorite places ever because of course it is (and I am probably one of a dozen people in history who can claim I ended up there completely by accident)

phonymahoney
Guest
phonymahoney
Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

Hey, it’s a live stream of HHG at work!

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Treasure of the Sierra Madre?

MadScientist72
Member
MadScientist72
Miss Muse
Editor
Miss Muse

Send all complaints to P.O. Box 24601.

phonymahoney
Guest
phonymahoney

Work breakfast is lovely today.

Also, @ Sis:
Tomorrow is the second anniversary of the Removal of Shelley DuGall.

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

Pouring some out in memory of Shelley DuGall:

The BOB
Member
The BOB

Wait, did you have your gall bladder removed?

phonymahoney
Guest
phonymahoney

Two years ago!

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

And I named it Shelley DuGall.

The BOB
Member
The BOB

Fun! Still getting the phantom pains? The wife had hers out ~3 years ago. There’s something about you women rejecting your own organs! (You’re the 5th or 6th person I’ve heard about having it out, all women)

phonymahoney
Guest
phonymahoney

Yup! No pain here. Actually, my situation was different from that of a lot of people I know – I would only have an attack once every few weeks, and it wouldn’t be sharp, absolutely miserable pain. It would feel like I had gas trapped in my belly/chest, and I’d feel like the only thing that would make it better would be to get sick. I can make myself do that pretty easily by thinking of stuff that grosses me out, so I’d do it, and feel better for a few minutes, and then it’d come back. Felt like I pulled an ab muscle, but it just kind of nagged and throbbed incessantly. Couldn’t sleep. Went to the ER a couple times because it was making me insane, they’d give me pain meds, do an ultrasound, and tell me I should really get it removed.

The second time I went to to the ER, the girl was telling me that she regularly would do ultrasounds for other problems on people, and she’d see that their gall bladders were absolutely loaded with stones and they’d have no problem whatsoever. I literally had ONE gall stone, and it was making me miserable every now and then. She kept making me roll over so we could watch it bounce inside me on the screen. It was kind of awesome. I’m definitely a weirdo, but I’m pretty disappointed that I didn’t get to at least see the stone when they were done.

I feel like only 50% of the females in my office still own their gall bladders., Very weird.

carvinbass18
Editor
carvinbass18

Good morning!

  • It’s moist out today, booo
  • but it’s Friday yaaaay
  • Dumb Jerk2.0 didn’t get to play for the Hawks last night so the OGDumb Jerk of course had to score the game winner. Seriously fuck the Hawks.
  • I hate bees / hornets / yellow jackets so much. Legitimate phobia and I just locked up hard here on my break. So much so that one of the supervisors just saw me with my panic’d face and killed it a yellow jacket for me. I get the importance of bees, and they’re the best of the three, but no. Stay away
  • Coffee & water to settle my nerves now.
  • Satan81
    Admin
    Satan81

    Oof. Seems like things behind the scenes at the NWHL are an absolute mess:

    http://www.excellesports.com/news/nwhl-faces-lawsuit-founding-investor-imperiling-second-season/

    Hopefully they can get it all sorted out and build off of their inaugural season.

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Over $180,000? Even I think that’s chicken feed, and I’m perrenially broke.

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    Jeez.
    I feel like the womens’ pro hockey scene has been pretty crazy in the last year.

    Satan81
    Admin
    Satan81

    One would expect some chaos and growing pains in the first year of any venture, but this has seemed especially nasty. The Hartford Whale situation was astoundingly toxic.

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    They’ve got to figure something out with the two leagues, as well. We have ONE top-level men’s pro league, and that hardly works sometimes.

    IntentionallyWidenberg
    Admin
    IntentionallyWidenberg

    I’ve gotten the impression that the CWHL pays its players less than a Starbucks would, so they have a very different take on how to run a league. Normally I’d expect them to run in parallel & compete until one established dominance over the other, then absorb the little sister. (See NHL-WHL or NFL-AAFL).

    Unfortunately, I think the NWHL is structured & marketed like a pro sports league, but will fail because it is run with the skill of a volunteer little league baseball group. The CWHL is more sustainable, but doesn’t seem to have the savvy to grow into a league that can draw crowds and pay players.

    DrHandgrenaid
    Editor
    DrHandgrenaid

    The CWHL hasn’t paid its players at all to this point (its why they lost a lot of their stars to the NWHL this season). They are supposed to be starting to pay this coming season I believe.

    As for the NWHL, this all looks ugly, but a lot of it is simply growing pains that are almost always present during the launch years of a new business.

    The BOB
    Member
    The BOB

    Not to surprised when there was already an existing league. It’s hard enough to create an organization like that but to have direct competition as well? Even worse.

    carvinbass18
    Editor
    carvinbass18

    jesus wtf happened here?

    IntentionallyWidenberg
    Admin
    IntentionallyWidenberg

    Sounds like fallout from people doing sketchy things (money under the table, misrepresentation of roles & experience, etc.) during the startup phase of the NWHL. I’d like to hope they have a more stable operating environment now, but I think I believe the unnamed player when she says Rylan is dishonest & unqualified.

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    The way it’s been going, it seems that might be true.

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Minor league hockey at it’s finest! A lot of leagues are rife with corruption. The less money involved, the dirtier the crook that wants it.

    Miss Muse
    Editor
    Miss Muse

    God, who knows? It all sounds pretty damn ugly.

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Good Morning All! Friday!!!!! Yes, Datsuk is a great talent and drafted so late! The Wings really do groom their players well.

    Looks like the Rangers are done. I’m still banking on the Ducks out west.

    Coffee on tap with vitamin b (bourbon).

    Kayaking again this weekend , Deerfield River this time.

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    Vitamin b is where it’s at!

    Coffee on tap here. May toss some Irish cream in the next cup, I have a bunch of nips at my desk (shocking, right?).

    I can’t believe the Rangers are laying down like this. I know the Pens are playing well, but still. Crazy. I’m one of the few people who doesn’t hate the Ducks. I’m actually OK with either team winning that series. Of course, I think the Ducks have a better chance of taking Chicago out if they come back against St. Louis (I think they will. Ugh.).

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Yeah, with the exception of Corey Perry, the Ducks are okay. I might even be able to warm up to him if he wore a spoked B on his chest.

    DrHandgrenaid
    Editor
    DrHandgrenaid

    with the exception of Corey Perry

    points to Ryan Kesler, nods sagely

    carvinbass18
    Editor
    carvinbass18

    I think the Ducks have a better chance of taking Chicago out if they come back against St. Louis (I think they will. Ugh.

    http://cdn2.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1843707/60877-Duck-no-gif-zeih.gif

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    I don’t have a horse in the race now, but I have several not-horses.

    carvinbass18
    Editor
    carvinbass18

    I’m only saying no because I don’t want you to be right, not that I think you’re wrong lol

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    yup, I know!

    IntentionallyWidenberg
    Admin
    IntentionallyWidenberg

    I’m rooting for the Blues, and I feel like I’ve been sucked in to believing in them (for at least this round), but I’m pretty sure I have Chicago coming out of this round in my NHL bracket.

    The BOB
    Member
    The BOB

    Have to give them credit… the old Blues would have folded last night after that dagger goal with 0.4 left. They never would have come back from a 2-goal deficit in the third against Chicago.

    MadScientist72
    Member
    MadScientist72

    Trust the Gorton’s Fisherman!
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    Go Islanders!

    Satan81
    Admin
    Satan81

    It’ll be a shame to see the Magic Man go.

    The Rangers just didn’t have it together last night.

    No bourbon for me for a while. sad

    Kayaking: Nice!

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    He’s just so, so good. A wizard!
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    BagelBruin
    Member
    BagelBruin

    I’m going to (h)Asheville, NC, tomorrow for my girlfriend’s birthday. God help me, because I hate that nature-peace-love-and-dreads town.

    Someone give me a hell yeah!

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    We do whatever we have to for our partners bday!

    BagelBruin
    Member
    BagelBruin

    True true! She’s put up with A LOT of jam sessions and hockey talk. If she wants to go to the mountains and hike, it will be good.

    The BOB
    Member
    The BOB

    While Datsyuk is great, I do have to wonder if some of the praise is overblown. The broadcasters last night were saying he left a lot of points on the table by focusing so much on his defensive game. I looked and the guy started 55% in the offensive zone… that’s not exactly leaving points on the table to me.

    DrHandgrenaid
    Editor
    DrHandgrenaid

    Is that number for last night, this season, or his career?

    The BOB
    Member
    The BOB

    Career, or at least as much data as hockey-reference has which it turns out is from 07-08.

    From his age-29 season on, he only had one season under 50% (48% in 10-11). Last three years have been 58%, 59% and 61% O-Zone starts

    DrHandgrenaid
    Editor
    DrHandgrenaid

    So making him an absurdly undeserving Selke Nominee all those seasons, much like Toews when he won. Fair enough, I suspected as much, but wanted to confirm

    The BOB
    Member
    The BOB

    The Selke seasons were 56%, 51% and 51% O-zone starts. His Corsi is still through the roof… 59% for career, Corsi-rel at 5.3 with similar Fenwick.

    If I remember, many people argued takeaways/giveaways for him which are quite possibly the most useless stats in all of hockey. Incredibly subjective and hugely impacted by home scorers, just like hits.

    Going by hockey-ref’s nebulous ‘Defensive Point Share’ he was still very deserving of the awards. Mind you, the same DPS system had Krejci as being better defensively than Bergeron in 13-14…

    DrHandgrenaid
    Editor
    DrHandgrenaid

    No question that Datsyuk has been a marvelous player, just not the defensive wunderkind we’ve all been told. Bergy’s possession and production, paired with his zone starts, however, is in a different class altogether

    The BOB
    Member
    The BOB

    His zone start really does set him apart. His frequent Selke competition, Kopitar and Toews, both start primarily Ozone (53% and 60% respectively) so its hard to really compare them. Add in that Bergy now has 30 goals in 2 of the last 3 seasons and he really is ridiculous.

    Before, he never really had the offensive stats relative to the others. Now he is just as good offensively while being superior defensively.

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Thank you all for the fancy stat stuff. The eye test was telling us this for some time now. That and the intangibles are real!!!! And Bergh brings ’em….. in spades

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    Wow. I am surprised. But not?

    DrHandgrenaid
    Editor
    DrHandgrenaid

    Hey party people! Its Friday! Yayyyyyy!

    Also, Earth Day. Listen to your friend Carl Sagan, He’s a cool dude.
    http://i.imgur.com/84v8X.jpg
    http://photodesk.chicagotribune.com.s3.amazonaws.com/Graphics/2015_earth.jpg

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    So earthy of you and Carl.

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    DrHandgrenaid
    Editor
    DrHandgrenaid

    That passage and image are all the beauty and splendor of this super awesome planet we live on, and are no small part of why I love being a geologist

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    I was thinking about you being a geologist and it all making sense while I was reading it… as weird as that is!