phonymahoney

About phonymahoney

Curmudgeon? Check. Awesome? Check. Jaromir Jagr? Czech.
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Satan81
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Satan81
Satan81
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Satan81

.@68Jagr is coming back to the @FlaPanthers … deal done, terms coming

— George Richards (@GeorgeRichards) May 5, 2016

Satan81
Admin
Satan81
Satan81
Admin
Satan81
Satan81
Admin
Satan81

Just updated it with the official live streaming link.

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

Sis gets the assist on that one.

Satan81
Admin
Satan81

Vielen Dank!

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

So my town’s new hot button issue is the car wash.
“It sucks!”
“You suck!”
Small town life, ladies and gentleman.

DrHandgrenaid
Editor
DrHandgrenaid

People are incensed about a car wash? Possibly the most inoffensive of businesses this side of a use book store or antique shop?

Vermont is something else. Even small town NH isn’t that far up its own ass

DrHandgrenaid
Editor
DrHandgrenaid

Now, small town Nova Scotia, on the other hand, may just be that far up its own ass

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

The local paper, The Valley Reporter, has a dumb section called Valarie Porter (heh heh, get it? Like I said, dumb) that I never read. Apparently last week they criticized the car was which led to this wonderful gem this week from the owner:
http://www.valleyreporter.com/menu-opinion/myview/11291-an-old-school-style-carwash
And another person weighed in:
http://www.valleyreporter.com/menu-opinion/letters/11288-using-the-carwash

phonymahoney
Guest
phonymahoney

The local paper, The Valley Reporter, has a dumb section called Valarie Porter (heh heh, get it?

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carvinbass18
Editor
carvinbass18

What was the negative review? Jesus that reply from the owner was ruthless

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

Honestly have no idea since I never read that section.

phonymahoney
Guest
phonymahoney

We at the Mad River Car Wash would like to welcome you to go to Montpelier, Waterbury or Burlington to have your vehicle washed. They all offer the amenities that “you” require for a very special car-washing experience. There are many great carwashes available made just for high-maintenance women like yourself.

hahahahahahaha oh god

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

I died reading his letter.

BagelBruin
Member
BagelBruin

I’m actually very picky about my car wash, which is why I do it myself

DrHandgrenaid
Editor
DrHandgrenaid

ahahahhahahha wow

UnstableElement
Member
UnstableElement

Talk about not pulling any punches. I’m thinking the original column author isn’t well liked to begin with, because even ongoing feuds in my hometown didn’t get that nasty (and there was one nasty selectwoman who liked to cause many a ruckus).

phonymahoney
Guest
phonymahoney

Good morning, peeps!

  • One huge project is done, so I think the insanity is dying down a little here and I can start writing things about hockey. Yay!
  • Had a little dinner party last night with the cousin, her GF, and my friend Smithchuk. Ribeye and wine were lovely. So was dessert.
  • Well, I don’t have any fun skate tracking post office updates for you because there is apparently a portal between the post office in St. Paul, Minnesota and the post office in South Boston, MA. My skates are here, they fit FUCKING PERFECTLY, and they seriously weight like an ounce. As someone who is used to old timey (90s) skates, this is totally crazytown.
  • Yessss. pic.twitter.com/htO2SPnJwf

    — the phonymahoney (@phoneymahoney) May 5, 2016

  • Really need to find some public skating sessions around here. May is tough.
  • This compliance crackdown has been a BLAST.
  • Satan 81's Sister
    Editor
    Satan 81's Sister

    Ooooo, those skates are gorgeous.

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    Right? Thanks! Great fucking deal, too. Ebay for the win. Brand new.

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    The weight (or lack of) is the truly amazing thing aboot (Canadian spelling, eh?) today’s skates.

    carvinbass18
    Editor
    carvinbass18

    Good article by our favorite writer:
    https://scoutingpost.com/2016/05/05/bruins-prospects-update-the-amateurs/

    Re-Senyshyn:

    The biggest knock on Senyshyn right now is his shift-to-shift consistency and a tendency to hang back looking for scoring chances rather than going into his own end and doing the grunt work for loose pucks with regularity. That’s not to say he’s a lazy player- he’s not- but he won’t beat out some of the other older, more advanced right wingers in the system with the goal scoring alone

    I always wonder if players in junior do this after being drafted high to try to minimize injury potential. It’s something I hear often of 1st & 2nd rounders who go back to juniors their first year after being drafted.

    Satan81
    Admin
    Satan81

    Sheesh, it’s like he’s 19 years old or something.

    Thetallest81
    Member
    Thetallest81

    He's Immature and has no place in the Bruins org....trade him

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Let’s wait until we sign him to a big contract and make him untradable.

    carvinbass18
    Editor
    carvinbass18

    I hear that about so many junior players. You know they can score, but if they’re getting down and dirty on an every shift basis do you think the injury risk gets in their heads so they stop doing it to preserve their shot at the NHL?

    DrHandgrenaid
    Editor
    DrHandgrenaid

    His Zboril review in this one is pretty much verbatim what I talked about on BoT after seeing him this season

    The BOB
    Member
    The BOB

    Could someone please juts shoot me in the head… please?

    Satan81
    Admin
    Satan81

    comment image

    The BOB
    Member
    The BOB

    Excellent choice of source material my German friend.

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Good Morning All! Feeling pretty chipper in spite of last night’s late night affairs. Hockey, that is.

    Single game tonight.

    So, one of the beer league teams had a coach last night. That is frowned upon. Oh, if it’s a “coach” that hangs out and passes beer to his buddies (we can’t see that, for some reason) fine. If, as was the case last night, the “coach” wants to give my partner and I a hard time, then the fun begins!

    Me: Coach, do you know what a beer league coaches job is?

    “Coach”: No, I don’t

    Me: That’s why I’m here. I do know. Your job is to open and close the door for the players and to keep your mouth shut. Can you do that.

    “Coach”: I’ll say anything I want.

    Me: Well, you better say it nice and loud, ’cause you’ll be saying it outside. Goooood niiiight. (all sing songy)

    Players on the bench: Thanks, ref! We can’t stand that guy.

    Turns out he is the father of one of the players. One that had already been tossed for douchebaggery. Hilarious. Even better, I have their game next week. I’m laughing my ass off already.

    Not enough rain last night, no boating today. I might actually have to work…but don’t bank on it!

    A la pression – cafe con bourbon (translated to hockey by Google)

    Satan 81's Sister
    Editor
    Satan 81's Sister

    You, sir, are a fucking knight.

    Thetallest81
    Member
    Thetallest81

    MAKE HIM A KNIGHT!

    Satan 81's Sister
    Editor
    Satan 81's Sister

    Thetallest81
    Member
    Satan81
    Admin
    Satan81

    *applause*

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    You’re my favorite ref.

    Satan 81's Sister
    Editor
    Satan 81's Sister

    And it gives him perfect experience if he ever wants to open a day care.

    phonymahoney
    Guest
    phonymahoney

    Ha!

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    It’s so true! Some nights I really feel like i am babysitting!

    UnstableElement
    Member
    UnstableElement

    Good Morning,

    -It’s Thursday and raining. But the Sox won last night, Ortiz murdered a baseball, and Clay actually pitched well, so that’s something.
    -Two more applications out yesterday. Someone hire me, please?
    -Carpet replacement is scheduled. Meaning move-in is on track for a week from Saturday. Very much looking forward to that.

    That’s all I got.