Morning Free Association – August 8 – Hockey Photogs, Can We Talk?

Embed from Getty Images

Hey look! It’s a guy holding a hockey stick straight ahead!

Ok, hockey player portrait artists, can we talk for a minute?

I went scanning through the usual hockey internet sites, looking for ideas on what to write about this morning, when I came upon a photo of an NHL prospect. It was the same, exact style of hockey portrait as every prospect seems to have. The player was standing at a distance from the ‘viewer’, pointing his stick forward at eye-level, while he looks at the camera with a sort of tough-guy semi-scowl on his face.

Alright photographers, why do you all seem to think that this pose looks good?

I mean, seriously… if the photo is done well, the picture is in sharp focus on the player’s face, and the stick blade is blurry.
When viewing this photo, I see this as a guy trying to shove his stick blade in my face. It’s obnoxious and faux-aggressive. (Spoiler: If someone actually did this to me in real life, I’d instinctively yank the stick out of his hands and punch him in the face. I feel that I am not alone in this…) And it seems to be a particularly popular shot to share for tiny little centermen who typically avoid contact like the plague. Come on guys, if the player isn’t Sean Avery, then the pose is out of place.

There are plenty of poses that one can use for a photo that look better than this.
There’s the faceoff shot:
Embed from Getty Images
(Dude… wear your shoulder pads next time…)

The big game hunter shot
Glenn Hall, cuz why not?
The clean & press shot
The cup winner shot
You don't have the cup. So Saad.
The “shot out of a cannon” shot

The “hula dancer:”
Anuk-a-nuk-a hu-la-hu-la
The brain surgeon:
Ouch... Ouch-Ouch-Ouch! Ouch-Ouch-Ouch!

Let’s get just a little bit more creative. can’t we?

Sign Pasta.

About IntentionallyWidenberg

Position: Power Forward. Occupation: I am the Egg Man. Contrary to popular belief, I am not the Walrus.
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MadScientist72
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MadScientist72

Sign Pasta!

I think that camera angle is someone’s (probably someone who’s never played hockey) idea of what a goalie’s-eye view of a slapshot would be. They foolishly thought “Hey, this would make a great ‘action pose’!” They were wrong.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Article about Backed from yahoo sports. Blah, blah, blah…

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

It’s 130 and I am dronk! That’s just past drunk for the uninitiated (me thinks most B2Bers have been initiated, some may have renewed their vows this past weekend). I will try really hard not to transfer my anger to poor, innocent hockey players tonight. And only a couple more bowls of loudmouth soup before my games. smile

phonymahoney
Editor

Good morning, pals!

Killing time during a conference call. How’s it hanging?

Sign Pasta.
Sign Jagr.
Czechmates.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

I really want Jagr on this team!! The Crazy Pasta Jag line, please.

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

Morning all. Didn’t have to come into the office until 10:00 today. Was really bored at home so I cleaned the stove top.

Sign Pasta.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

I deleted my fb account last week. My squirrel still has an account – Schwartz Scuridae. Schwartz usually knows where I am (AND where I keep my nuts) and is a good Bruin fan (although usually likes to keep bears at (nuclear) arms length.)

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Sign Pasta, Pals!
Don’t forget the surfing shot – gliding across the ice on one knee, stick raised for goal celly.
Not feeling like working today. Got an email saying my check MIGHT (is going to) bounce. It’s a month’s pay. This guy is ridiculous.
.( opens bottle ).
Fuck coffee, I’ll be drinkin’ like I missed a party.
Double double tonight (double header with double vision!)

carvinbass18
Editor

Got an email saying my check MIGHT (is going to) bounce. It’s a month’s pay. This guy is ridiculous

How does this happen?

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

It’s planned. He wanted to pay for his new pool liner instead of me. This guy gives LAWYERS a bad name!

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

That is some fucking bullshit right there.

carvinbass18
Editor

woof

carvinbass18
Editor

it’s such a terrible shot, and the normal awkward “I’m getting high school photos done” face on most of these kids just doesn’t make sense anyway. The anxiety level of kids waiting to be drafted, then rushed around for pictures / interviews / congratulations / apparel is already sky high, why make it more uncomfortable?

Morning everyone. It’s a listen to video game soundtracks kind of morning, just for some cheap motivation. The good thing about having a party is that the leftover burgers I get to have a variety of styles of burgers. Night before did a blue cheese bacon double, last night did 2 cheese w/ an egg. Aww yeah. The bad thing about having a party is even still the thought about cracking a beer or making a drink makes me feel ill hahaha

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

Mmm….a bacon blue cheese burger sounds like a really good idea.

Satan 81's Sister
Editor

it’s such a terrible shot, and the normal awkward “I’m getting high school photos done” face on most of these kids just doesn’t make sense anyway.

http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/David+Pastrnak+2014+NHL+Draft+Portraits+2eYkbFD32a7l.jpg

carvinbass18
Editor

point proven

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