Morning Free Association: Measuring Stick

The hottest club in Boston is called Bruins Hockey. It has everything:

Giant cosplaying bears fighting giant LARPing penguins

German Olympic style goaltending

Affectionate mattress wearing Kazakhs

First Period aka, Goaltending is Optional:

It wasn’t pretty starting with Olli Maatta’s goal 35 seconds in. Sure the Bruins scored three unanswered goals and chased AHL call-up Casey DeSmith before Phil Kessel scored the second one on Tuukka. Let’s be frank, Tuukka looked awful in the first period and while he would shore it up, he would still end up having a save percentage of >846 for the evening, but not before he let in a final weak goal with seconds left in the beginning period.

Also, our cub Charlie got roughed up by Patric Hornqvist and required some stitching. Don’t worry, he would return the favor later on and teammates would have his back for the rest of the game.

The Bruins goals of the first because we like happy things:

David Krejci really putting his body into it:

Fellow Czech David Pastrnak gets in on the action:

New Guy #1 (aka Ricky, Rick Nash) down and dirty with his second as a Bruin:

David Backes with his 11th:

Torey Krug also with his 11th:

Yeah, that was all in the first. The B’s took a 5-3 lead into the second.

Second Period, aka This is Krejci:

This period was all Bruins in the way of scoring. I’m pretty sure the Pens were on the ice and that there were a few close calls but who cares because they didn’t get on the scoreboard.

Other New Guy (Nick Holden) feeds this one to Krejci for David’s second of the night:

Also new guy (Brian Gionta) scoots this over to Krejci for the hat trick:

One. More. Time. Pasta gets his second of the night with help from the captain.

Third Period, or The End:

Ah, the Bruins didn’t score in this one. Poop. Olli Maatta netted one more to bring the Penguins within 4 in this their third loss in a row.

Bruins take the definitive and sloppy win, 8-4. Two points are two points no matter how you got them, right?

Sidney Crosby pulled his usual douchecanoe moves of punching Brandon Carlo (young Carlo wisely didn’t retaliate), hooking a Bruins player without being called, then later whining all the way to the bench when he didn’t get a call go his way. Crosby had zero points on the night.

Next game is an odd start time of 5pm on Saturday night for the season series finale against the Habs, this time in Boston.

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the german hammer

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phonymahoney
Editor
phonymahoney

People, I am ragey and dragging today. I don’t do well during the Lenten time of year. Meat for the win.

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

I hear you. Middle of a thirteen day work stretch. And top it all off, I get to end it next week by working 30 hours in three days.

MadScientist72
Member
MadScientist72

I you absolutely have to give up something for Lent, might I suggest you give up religion?

phonymahoney
Editor
phonymahoney

I am QUITE terrible at Catholicism, but I like the idea of 40 days of some sort of self-imposed discipline.

MadScientist72
Member
MadScientist72

Then you’re free to impose it on yourself at any time. You don’t need to wait for someone else to do it for you. That kind of discipline may be self-enforced, but it’s not really self-imposed.

The London Bear
Member
The London Bear

I’ve become virtually a vegetarian (or pescetarian at least) over the last few months and I definitely feel better for it.

I did have a massive cheeseburger last night, though as the people I was with wanted to go to Five Guys!

MadScientist72
Member
MadScientist72

Meat’s way too yummy for me to even consider giving it up.

Besides, our ancestors worked way too hard to get to the top of the food chain for me to just throw it all away.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

What’s a Maata, what’s a Maata? What’s a Maata wich you?? Eh, Sidney?

Heading for the river, laters!!!

phonymahoney
Editor
phonymahoney

Whatsa Maatta is one of my fantasy team names! I used to have Uncle Niemi.

The London Bear
Member
The London Bear

Uncle Niemi.

Very clever!

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

I thought Pasta’s first went off Riley Nash’s leg (making it his goal) or was that not so…. either way, it was a weird one!

MadScientist72
Member
MadScientist72

The way it changes direction, it does look like it went off something. Although, I never agreed with the whole idea of credit for the shot going to someone it hit on the way in. I think it should go to the last person on the scoring team who made controlled contact (ie, contact with his stick, not his body). If it hits a body on the way in, that player should get an assist.

My favorite part of that goal is watching the puck slowly trickle across the line, while DeSmith clearly has no idea it’s happening.

phonymahoney
Editor
phonymahoney

What, you got a problem with butt goals?!
http://i.imgur.com/nXz0wlq.gif

MadScientist72
Member
MadScientist72

I don’t have a problem with butt goals, I just think they should belong to the guy with the stick instead of the one with the butt. The butt should get the assist.

phonymahoney
Editor
phonymahoney

a perfectly valid opinion!

The London Bear
Member
The London Bear

I didn’t appreciate at the time what a lovely dish this was from Zee!

https://twitter.com/CBeswick/status/969392800700694528

MadScientist72
Member
MadScientist72

A thing of beauty! He threaded the needle between 2 Pens skaters and their goalie!

phonymahoney
Editor
phonymahoney

Hey hockey pals!

  • Something something measuring stick….
  • Bruins be like:
  • comment image

  • Penguins be like:
  • comment image

  • I thought this was really cool.
  • This has been a really long week. Mamma Mahoney is doing well but ugggggh, I’m tired.
  • I wish we got the dual hat trick. I could have sworn I saw one live – scored by Lemieux and Jagr – but no, we lost to Pittsburgh 9-6, Mario scored 4 and Jagr scored 1. Close enough. I also could have sworn I watched it at the Garden, but it was at the Fleet Center. Getting old, I guess.
  • Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Getting old, I guess.

    Hahahaha…. I remember the old Gahden like it was yesterday!l

    Thetallest81
    Member
    Thetallest81

    Morning all…quite an entertaining game!!

    DK looks confident out there again for the first time since the Looch/Horty line days….i like it.

    The absence of Bergy def shows on the defense, but the PK was honestly pretty good last night and Rask did a good job not letting them back in the game….because they could have easily gotten back in it the way the game was going.

    Sweenius is looking fucking smart as hell khed.

    I hope there is a hearing on the high hit, if that was Marchand leading with an elbow to the head there would have already been an announcement during 1st intermission that he’d have a hearing.

    The London Bear
    Member
    The London Bear

    Well that looked like a crazy one! Were the goalies just holograms in the first?!

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Holograms, yes. It was a wild one!!

    Thetallest81
    Member
    Thetallest81
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Always recching Iggy…..

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    The latest video from my buddy is up. Interesting – he’s a straight ahead boater (DeBrusk). I spend more time ” in the eddy of the flow” as Jack would say. I like to dart behind all those rocks and take a look down stream before I go. I’ll get my go pro out soon to video, but I paddle more Krejci.

    The London Bear
    Member
    The London Bear

    Ah yes, I just saw it. I wouldn’t mind walking alongside that river – that would be closer to my idea of fun!

    IntentionallyWidenberg
    Admin
    IntentionallyWidenberg

    They were replaced by hockey ‘shooter tutor’ net-front targets.
    $30 at Dicks Sporting Goods

    Long-Winded Striped Mofo
    Member
    Long-Winded Striped Mofo

    Hey Pals!
    The ‘Guins are becoming easier to hate than the Habnots! Hornquist – easy to hate, Crosby – yeah, various other douchecanoes – yup.
    Match ups……. Bruins sure seem to match up better against the featherless fowl than they do against those bison that roam on the range in northern NY. Weird.
    Tip o the hat to Oleksiak for answering the challenge. We know what the rest of that team does – turtle.
    Less rain than all us boaters wanted. Waiting to see what rivers might still pop.
    Coffee!!!