While we’re waiting for the Bruins breakout day, when players, coaches, and executives give exit interviews on the season that was and the media gets updates on myriad injuries reported and not, we need to have something to entertain us. One thing that we never got into extensively is the controversy surrounding Brad Marchand and his penchant for licking the competition, in more ways than one…and quite literally.
Keep in mind, I personally find the act disgusting if it’s performed by someone you don’t want to do it. In fact, I would probably consider it a drama, a tragedy even if someone were to perform this act upon my person without my consent. The beauty of this, though, is that what is tragedy when done unto me is comedy when it’s done unto others like Leo Komarov and “American Hero to Pierre McGuire”™; Ryan Callahan, I’ve chosen to find this whole situation hilarious, mostly in how bent out of shape EVERYONE (not us) got about it. These guys sweat, salivate, spit, and bleed all over each other, a lick is potentially more dangerous to Brad than to his special subjects. This week, Dave Lozo perfectly encapsulated the stupidity on Vice Sports.
Last week, Brad Marchand made it as a question in the lightning (heh) round of the popular NPR game show Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me! Why? Because of his awesome hockeying? Nope. It was the licking!
That wasn’t the only NPR interest in Marchy. There’s a whole article about it. I’m pretty sure this is the first time NPR has had a story on hockey, or a Bruins player, or an NHL player licking other players. In this version of America, anything goes!
I still think it’s funny but it’s time for the story to go away. I only wish we could have seen the antics on to the next round to see who Brad would lick on the Capitals.