Morning Free Association: Lickgate

Embed from Getty Images

While we’re waiting for the Bruins breakout day, when players, coaches, and executives give exit interviews on the season that was and the media gets updates on myriad injuries reported and not, we need to have something to entertain us. One thing that we never got into extensively is the controversy surrounding Brad Marchand and his penchant for licking the competition, in more ways than one…and quite literally.

Keep in mind, I personally find the act disgusting if it’s performed by someone you don’t want to do it. In fact, I would probably consider it a drama, a tragedy even if someone were to perform this act upon my person without my consent. The beauty of this, though, is that what is tragedy when done unto me is comedy when it’s done unto others like Leo Komarov and “American Hero to Pierre McGuire”™; Ryan Callahan, I’ve chosen to find this whole situation hilarious, mostly in how bent out of shape EVERYONE (not us) got about it. These guys sweat, salivate, spit, and bleed all over each other, a lick is potentially more dangerous to Brad than to his special subjects. This week, Dave Lozo perfectly encapsulated the stupidity on Vice Sports.

Last week, Brad Marchand made it as a question in the lightning (heh) round of the popular NPR game show Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me! Why? Because of his awesome hockeying? Nope. It was the licking!

That wasn’t the only NPR interest in Marchy. There’s a whole article about it. I’m pretty sure this is the first time NPR has had a story on hockey, or a Bruins player, or an NHL player licking other players. In this version of America, anything goes!

I still think it’s funny but it’s time for the story to go away. I only wish we could have seen the antics on to the next round to see who Brad would lick on the Capitals.

Bookmark the permalink.
the german hammer

About the german hammer

Captain of Bearly on Topic.
newest oldest most recched
The London Bear
Member
The London Bear

Hello!

I’m writing to you from the top of Liverpool cathedral and it’s just started raining! The way down leads through the bell chamber so we’re waiting for the chimes cos we don’t want to be in there when they go off!

Licking? Yeah, not nice but I’d rather be licked than punched in the nose tbh!

Those injuries. Explains a lot but every team deals with injuries so can’t really be used as an excuse.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

I would rather have Brad punch me in the nose than lick me!I
But, I’m a weirdo!

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

Morning all. Yes, the licking is disgusting but hockey is fucking disgusting. And Tampa can fuck off with their fucking high and mighty attitude. Have a fucking sense of humor and stop killing all the fun in hockey. Guess what, teams have fun and trash talk each other. And also guess what, fans like going to other arenas. Quit the “can’t wear your teams colors in our seats” bullshit. It’s fun when other fans are there. You didn’t invent hockey, Tampa, so stop fucking acting like you did. And quit acting like entitled fucking spoiled brats. I swear if it’s a Bolts/Preds final and the Preds have a sculpture of a lightning bolt for fans to smash, Tampa will whine to the league and make them stop. Fucking no fun assholes.

There, I feel better.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Tampa already has a chip on it’,s shoulders as Red Sox and Yankee fans have long dominated TB’s stadium. Bruins and Ranger/ Islander/ Devil fans have filled their arena for years, as well.
They need a shoulder to cry on!!!!

MadScientist72
Member
MadScientist72

Yes, the licking is disgusting but hockey is fucking disgusting

Yeah, it’s gross and would be totally unacceptable in the real world. But this is Hockey World and it’s fucking funny as hell here! In his article, Lozo that highlights the difference between Real World and Hockey World:

Look, you shouldn’t lick people that don’t want to be licked. That’s an unwritten rule in hockey but it’s very much a written rule—a law, even—in regular life.

In “regular life”, there’s also a law against punching people in the face. But it’s an accepted part of hockey.

I’m no fan of the Caps, but I seriously hope they beat the crap out of Tampa.

Long-Winded Striped Mofo
Member
Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Hey Pals!
Really, the licking is not that big a deal. I thought it was creative the first time.

So, just when I was starting to think I was badass with my paddling….. I got a call to paddle with the old guys. Did some class I – Ok with a guy who had a stroke last fall. We had to help him get in his boat and out of it and help him up and down the bank, but the SOB paddled 5 miles and stayed upright the whole way. That’s badass!

Humble pie for breakfast!!!

Satan 81's Sister
Editor
Satan 81's Sister

Go him! That’s awesome (and also makes me feel very lazy!)

IntentionallyWidenberg
Admin
IntentionallyWidenberg

Yeah, that guy earned some bad-ass points for that.